hotel room ftw
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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