Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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