Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
