I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
