White coat. Heels.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
