her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
