I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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