I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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