you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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