when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
