Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
