giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Vodka?
Forever.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
