you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
