I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
