I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
