hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
