So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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