i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just want to make out with him forever
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
