I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
