do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
