I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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