My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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