I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
