wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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