..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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