he shaved USA in his pubs
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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