I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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