he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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