I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
