Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Your penis caused this!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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