I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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