I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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