I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
