I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
