They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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