Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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