around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
