Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
