so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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