frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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