do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
