The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
