i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
