What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
