Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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