So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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