she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
