I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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