its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
