we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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