i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
